Dark Suckers

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room. So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. That is why it is called light.

Fly Attack

No, this is not about the recent, or the not so recent, terrorist attacks at the airports or flights, its sumthin much worse. never thought those tiny bastards could haunt me so much.

Alrite...for the uninitiated...i have started off with my training, at some research lab(name withheld), and i have to work on Drosophila melanogaster, also called the fruit fly,(a fly nevertheless).

Initially, i was kinda excited about it, but a week of looking at them through a high power microscope, which makes them luk the size of some prehistoric dinosaur bird, has forced me to take a moment of pause. What is with these tiny lil' things that they get so much attention??? I mean, no chick ever checked me out so closely.

I knew i would soon get bored out of this, but having NIGHTMARES about them was not a bargain i had made. i was just taking a nap in the afternon today, and the entire time, i was tormented in my dreams by them. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Yet, there's nuthin i can do about it. If this is the situation after just 1 week of work, then, MAY GOD SAVE MY SOUL....